Reading and Expectations

First, I suppose I should introduce myself beyond just 'another Westerner in Japan': My name is Gabe Tenaglia. I'm a junior, majoring in English and minoring in Japanese at Ursinus College, and this semester, and hopefully this year, I'm studying abroad at Akita International University (AIU). AIU is, well, an international university in Akita, Japan. One of my life's goals has been, for many years, to become fluent in Japanese language and culture.

And this...well, this is a blog for me, about me, by me (I promise that if you were to meet me in real life, I wouldn't--openly--be this self-centered). It's a blog for me to record my thoughts, feelings, and experiences so that I can alleviate the stress of being abroad, and so I can catalogue my journey to one day look back on it.

Although I've by now spent two days at Akita, I want to start this blog with my journey to Japan, and the expectations for my study abroad experience that I cultivated along the way. On my two flights to Tokyo, taking a combined flight time of about 16 hours, I read (but didn't finish) two books.

The first book is "Runaway Horses," by Yukio Mishima. Mishima is a Japanese literary giant, considered to be one of the most important Japanese authors of the 20th century. He's also a pretty fascinating figure: he was taken with radical right-wing ideas, tried to stage a coup by taking over the Japanese Self-Defense Force's headquarters, and when his attempt failed he committed seppuku, or ritual suicide.

It's the second novel in his most famous body of work, the "Sea of Fertility" triogy. It takes lace during the 1930s, when Japan was experiencing the surge of an increasingly radical right-wing ideology taking hold amongst its people, eventually culminating in the actions and policies leading to Japan's involvement in the Pacific War--aka World War 2. It's a little slow, but I felt that it begins to get at the heart of what Mishima really found to be of personal interest and importance to himself: Japan's increasingly prevalent influence from and integration with the West, corruption amongst the government and wealthy businessmen, and the responsibility of one devoted to the Emperor and the traditional spirit of Japan as the country drifts from its traditional values.

What this book really made me understand, or at least what I thought it made me understand, is how little I really know about Japan. Its history, ideology, politics, culture...they're all things that I don't fully understand; if I did, I'd certainly know a lot more about the context behind Mishima's work.

The second book, one that made a much larger impression on me, is called "A Tale for the Time Being." It's by Ruth Ozeki, a Japanese-American-Canadian author. The book is partly biographical, focusing on a novelist named Ruth and her husband Oliver (the name of Ozeki's real-life spouse), who are living in Canada around the year 2013, when the book came out. At the same time, the book shares its focus with a sixteen year old girl named Naoko Yasutani, who lives in Japan in the late 1990s to the early 2000s, whose diary Ruth finds washed up on a beach.

This book affected me on an emotional level that "Runaway Horses" could not, perhaps because the book is more about modern-day Japan. Not only does it contain a story full of strong emotion, both in sadness and in joy, but it also mirrored what I expected my study abroad experience to be like, which is what made resonate so strongly with me.

Naoko (nicknamed Nao in the book) is forced to move to Japan when her family, who lived in Sunnyvale, California, lost a great deal of money when her father was laid off and can no longer support their lifestyle there. Her transition is not a pleasant one. She is mercilessly bullied in school, her family is dirt poor, and her father, crushed by his role in losing the family's money, develops suicidal thoughts and tendencies. To be clear, I expected none of this in my own study abroad experience--but what Naoko goes through was reminiscent of what I'd learned about culture shock.

Nao starts off angry at herself, at the world around her, unmotivated, helpless, and longing for home. She takes joy only in dreaming of her life in Sunnyvale, and of revenging herself on her classmates. Yet when she meets her great grandmother, a Buddhist nun named Jiko, she finds not what she was longing for, but something even better--something that makes her see the value of her life in Japan. She learns about Japan's history and the tragedy of Jiko's son, who was conscripted into the Japanese army as a kamikaze pilot. She learns about Buddhist traditions and prayers, adopting the practice of Zen meditation. She finds herself transformed from someone with no real interests or passions aside from leaving Japan, to someone interested in learning more about her family and its place in Japan's history. 

Nao's life doesn't become perfect; her father still struggles with suicide, she is still targeted by her classmates, and her family still struggles to get by. But she does find something that, despite all the challenges in her life, makes her want to be in Japan and interact with the people she's formed bonds with there. 

That is what I, knowing the reality of culture shock and the expectation of adventure and self-discovery, hope for: a reason to be in Japan that itself is Japanese--in my case, the ability to grow as a fluent speaker of the language, and develop a more personal, informed connection to the country. I want a reason that, despite the struggles of being away from home, being in a different culture, and having to use a language that seems impossible for me to understand despite my years of study, keeps me motivated to move towards the things that are important to me in my study abroad experience.

On another note, having arrived in Akita, I feel that I should post at least a few pictures:

This country is gorgeous!